love doesn't age.

so i went to wal-mart today.
by myself.
i had a really big list of things to buy.
so big i needed a cart.
and that's unusual.

i passed an old man.
his belt was pulled up above his wasteline.
revealing his knee high socks and worn black sneakers.
his baseball cap sat high on his head,
as if to not muss the hair that used to grow much thicker.

he was with his wife.
his sweetheart.

she wore a flower patterned sundress.
that looked as if it'd seen better days.
hunched over the cart.
her grey hair curling around her forhead.
and her eyes squinting to read her
carefully printed grocery list.

they talked softly to each other.
he must have said something funny.
because she giggled.
and smiled up at him.

as they shuffled down the row of
green beans
and corn.

together.

i realized
something.

love doesn't age.

"true love is eternal, infinite, equal, and pure, it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart."

whatever it takes.

what does it take.
to be broken.
the place where "i" don't exist.
and You do.

what does it look like.
to be wholly Yours.
what must i give up.
how must i hurt.

i'm willing.
whatever it takes.

if you have to break my heart.
if you must take what i love.

i want to need You.

i'm learning that to seek after You.
doesn't narrow my life.
but brings it rather.
to the level of
highest
possible
fulfillment.

but i want to do more than find You.
i want to need You.

i want to get to the place.
where i can't go on without You.

because it is in that place.
that i realize who You are.

and it is then.
that i truly love You.

"as the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after Thee. You alone, are my heart's desire, and i long to worship Thee."

a full heart.

i can't explain my joy.
no words ever created.
suffice at this moment.

i feel as though.
my heart is a little bowl.
all filled up.

it's so full it keeps spilling.
but somehow stays right at the brim.
i want to stay like this forever.

totally content.

it's because i've made Him my all.
somehow giving up.
i gain everything.

"the woman who has God as her treasure has all things in One. many ordinary treasures may be denied her, or if she is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be necessary to her happiness. or if she must see them go, one after one, she will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the source of all things she has in one all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight. whatever she may lose she has actually lost nothing, for she now has it all in One, and she has it purely, legitimately, and forever."

that's me.