ready.

i don't know the full extent
of what He's doing.
but i'm ready for it.

i need Him so much right now.
need Him.
want Him.
trust Him.
love Him.

i can't wait for Him
to change my world.
to do big things.

i've given myself completely to Him.
and i don't want myself back.

i want to lose all for His sake.
to have nothing to depend on but His name.

i want nothing but Him.
forever.

i want Him to do things too big for me.
so everyone knows it's Him.

i'm ready.
i'm willing.
i'm anxious.
i'm patient.
i'm hurting.
i'm hoping.
i'm trusting.
i'm terrified.
i'm His.


"but whatever gain i had, i count as loss for the sake of Christ. indeed, i count everything as loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. for His sake i have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that i may gain Christ and be found in Him."

consumed.

i have no words.
for what is happening.
in my heart.

though words have never done justice.
this time they are just
completely
inadequate.

there is a physical weight on my heart.
a pressure.
makes it hard to breathe
sometimes.

it can only be described as an
all
consuming
love.
for my Jesus.

and an
all
consuming
desperation
for people to know Him.

the pressure will not subside.
it threatens to
overwhelm me.
consume me.
transform me.

we are in a state of emergency.


my life is a vapor.
it will be gone soon.
and i have no time to waste.
and so i lay awake at night.

wanting to go.
and love.
and serve.

to make the most
of every conversation
every day.
every moment.

there is an intensity
that burns greater
than
ever
before.

and it won't go away.

and i don't want it to.

"let me catch a fiery passion to do your will. my goal is this alone. my heart is fixed. let me not turn. consume my affection and let your love burn deeply. give me power to remain prostrate at your pierced feet. there is no other place i'd rather be."