the big picture.

the story of job fascinates me. 

he is blameless and obedient.  satan makes the assumption that job's love for God is based on his blessings from God, so God allows suffering in job's life beyond that which i can fathom. 

God allows satan to take everything from job and with all of his wealth and family gone, oozing sores covering his body, scraping them with broken pottery, and in the greatest physical agony and emotional pain of his life...

he worships.

in essence his response in this moment to God was this. 'i don't understand what you're doing. i'm utterly confused, totally broken, and in more pain than I thought a human being could experience. but God, what i understand about You, is that Your character, Your goodness, and Your sovereignty have NOT changed.  and so I will worship.'

God never told job why he was tested in this way.  never once did he let job know that satan had questioned job's motives for his worship. in fact, his response to job's questions was not any explanation at all. instead, God responds to job with, 'this is how big I am. job you were not there when I created the world, you were not there when I told the ocean it could only come this far. you will NOT understand why these things have happened in your life. but why is understanding so important? all you need to know is that I am God.  I am huge.  I am on my throne and i am good.'

job's response?...'now i have seen you, and in seeing you i realize just how small and unworthy i am. i despise myself and repent.'

job couldn't see the big picture.  he did not know that his life would be recorded and his worship would be found astounding by thousands who would read his story.  he did not know in his conversation with God that it was in fact satan who was found in defeat as a result of his response to this test. and though he could not see, still he was found faithful.

i cannot see the big picture. He's up to something bigger than me.  larger than life. i cannot see what God is doing or how he is working.  and so when the day comes that i do not understand. a day when everything is taken.  a day filled with unspeakable pain beyond that which i think i can physically bear...i will worship.

NOT because i understand why. NOT because i ever will.

but because He's worthy.