amazing grace.

our culture has become saturated with phrases such as...

'me.'   'i deserve.'  'my rights.'  'i own.'  'my life.'  'i want.'  'i.'

the simple problem with this, is the fact that without the God of the universe, who created all, owns all, gives what He wants, and takes when He will, we would not have even the breath within us to say those words.  we make a mistake of astronomical proportions when we make 'us' the center of our world.  for this was never His design.  we commit an atrocity which i would not hesitate to call blaspheme when we worship the "created" instead of the "Creator."  

He is huge.  far beyond that which my small mind can fathom.  in Romans, paul says this about Him, 'for who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been His counselor?  Or who has given a gift to Him that He might be repaid?  for from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.  to Him be glory forever.'  

this is terrifying. 

why?  because at some point every one of us, by some method, have attempted to barter with God to receive from Him.  we have essentially said to God, '...i'll do this for you, if you'll do this for me.'  the problem with this is He owns everything! not only this, but we have taken the very things He has given us for His glory, and used them for ourselves.  we are created to worship Him with every breath we breathe and yet we use the gifts, abilities, resources and time He has given us to further our kingdom instead of His.

this is why the above thoughts of self-love are so devastating to a life.  for what I have come to understand about God has brought me to the conclusion that what i truly deserve is death. my life is completely and totally at the mercy of His plan. and everything i could EVER do that could merit ANYONE'S praise, adoration, or glory, He sees as filthy rags. 

and yet as He looks at my life and its incredible fascination with the things He has created, and knows my every selfish thought and action...He gently, lovingly turns my focus again to Himself.  and He loves me.

this is why grace is so amazing. 

"...feeling small may not be so bad, if in recognizing my smallness i come to realize the wonder of God -- a God who is beyond my ability to fully describe or imagine, yet someone i am privileged to know, love and embrace."